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After that we talked some more and he was occasionally touching my back or thighs. He was really into me. After that we had some dinner. After dinner we went to the bedroom. He opened his arms and asked me to come sleep with him. I got on the bed and got into his arms. To be honest i was liking whatever he was making me do, but i was showing him i didnt. Then we talked about a few more things. He then started to ask me about girls. He then suddenly asked me "Do you ever feel like a girl or want to be like one?" I hesitated but said no. He understood my hesitation. he made me feel more comfortable about how i can tell him anything. He again asked me the same question. I finally found the courage and told him yes i wanted to feel like a girl. I liked to when i felt like a girl. He smiled at me. He then said "Do you want me to make you feel like a girl, it can be like our secret, you can be a man infront of everyone but you can embrace the female inside you infront of me?" I stayed. I suddenly remember that Alex actually wanted to be 'used' tonight - which was probably why Beth cleared out. "Hey, how'd you do with those clips today?" Sore as fuck by lunch. Beth got 'em. I'm still kinda sore but it's uh good kinda thing."I nod. I'm glad he enjoyed his day. I hear the horn and realize that if we're pulling out of dock, I likely won't hear from Gran-gran today. I don't swear - that won't help anything. I look at Alex. He actually takes a step back from me."What?" I snap at him."You just look pissed." I am." He's silent for what seems like a long time. Then he comes over and kneels in front of me."Sir, that's like my job, right?" What is?" You need an outlet, you use me."I glare at him. I have abused our relationship in the past but that's the exception not the rule. "Alex. You are not a punching bag. What the fuck, you think I like hittin' you? Shit, I hope ta hell every time I do it, it's the last but it ain't. You like bein' hit. I do it 'cause you like it. It.
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